The Kingdom of the ‘Almost Sighted’

I saw a cobra in the back yard this morning. It’s not the first time this sort of thing has happened recently, so I had the good sense to keep it to myself. I’m beginning to get a reputation. When I saw the camel I didn’t know enough to keep my mouth shut. You see, I was in the car with my friend. She was driving. I was just gazing out the window, when I saw, several blocks ahead of us, what appeared to be a camel, crossing a downtown street. Of course I didn’t think it really WAS a camel, but it looked like a camel. A lot like a camel. In fact, it didn’t look like anything BUT a camel. So I pointed, foolishly, and said to my friend, “Look. Is that a camel?”. She automatically said, “No, it can’t be a camel.” “Then what is it?” I asked. She peered down the street and said, “Well, I’m not sure, but it cannot possibly be a camel.” I was not so sure. It had four legs and a big hump. And camels can be tricky. My ex-husband saw some camels once. In Kansas. Outside of Topeka. He arrived late somewhere to meet his mother and I for lunch and began babbling some nonsensical story about camels. We glared at him and treated him as if he had been drinking (or I thought, smoking something). Six months or so later my mother-in-law and I again had reason to go to Topeka. On the way there we saw some two dozen camels standing about in a field. We looked at each other. After agreeing never to mention it again we both resolved to do something nice for George. He deserved it.
As we got closer to the possible camel, my friend pointed out that it did not have a visible head. About 3 blocks after that the “camel” resolved itself into two men carrying a large carpet that had some bulky object rolled into its middle. My friend crowed and chortled. “You thought you saw a camel. Downtown! Haha. Camels wandering the streets. Teehee”. She told any number of other people how silly I was. I refrained from pointing out that she was not so sure what it was herself, for a while.
So, when I saw the cobra today I had enough sense to keep quite about it.  It was there in the back yard, its head rising above the deer feeder, swaying hypnotically back and forth. Moving forward and back surveying it’s territory. I spoke not a word, I just slipped silently out the door, picking up a sharp new hoe on my way past the garden. I knew how to dispatch a snake. I slid around the edge of the woods, carefully creeping up on the deer feeder. Finally I stepped around the last tree and surprised, a large squirrel. It was feeding in there, nothing showing but it’s beautiful, fluffy tail, waving side to side as the busy thing fed. He ran off chittering angrily. There was no snake anywhere in evidence. I think I will see about having my eyeglasses prescription updated. In the meantime, I still have the hoe. Just in case.



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